Sunday, February 10, 2008

danlarkins has 0 friends

That's what Google says, right up in the first hit for "danlarkins," so it must be true. I know I'm not exactly Mr. Personality. I know I'm not the most popular guy in town. But zero friends?! Yikes! I'd better go out and buy a dog. Fast.

No, wait. Turns out that the Friendless Danlarkins is a Dennis Kucinich supporter who lives in New Jersey. Well, that explains that. Elsewhere, Friendless Danlarkins claims to have "a nice girlfriend named Michelle," but he does so in the context of a post that makes absolutely no sense at all. I can only assume that Friendless Danlarkins has lost touch with reality. Maybe Michelle is inflatable?

A presumably different danlarkins is involved in what looks like a fantasy baseball league of some kind. Doubtless he has friends, but they're probably all sabermetricians.

I can't decide who is the sadder case, Friendless Danlarkins or Fantasyleague Danlarkins.

Postscript: A Google search for danlarkins finds "about 26" occurrences. About? About?! What's with "about"? Computers count things, right? Computers are precise, right? So how come Google never tells me exactly how many occurrences it finds?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

If it will help, I have a cat (or two) that I can send to you. They'll be nice to anybody that feeds them.


Jack

Anonymous said...

Dan Larkins is my best friend, my best supportor, my best chef, my best handiman, my best lover, my best lover of art (my glass art), etc. What else is there? He is the best. He is kind, loving, sharing, a Bush Hater and the entire staff, a great grandpop, a great father and the best to help anyone in need. Thank heavens I was the lucky one to find him.

Anonymous said...

Forget the cats.

Jack